Pouring Rain brings Memories
by Pasta-Survivor
Summary: When it rains like this, he remembers why he can't accept Arthur's love. Human names used, rated T for safe.
1. Alfred

**Alfred looked out the window, a sigh escaping from his lips once again. He hated it when it rained like this, it brought back memories he didn't want to remember. "Alfred," Matthew spoke from where he sat in front of the TV. "Are you okay? That the third sigh in ten minutes, are you not feeling well?" He asked his brother looking at him in slight concern. Alfred smiled and nodded. "Yeah Mattie, I'm fine. I'm just going to go take a walk okay?" Alfred said quickly making up his mind. Matthew stood up, "But it's raining Al! You'll at least take an umbrella right?" Alfred nodded, and let his brother fetch the umbrella for him. "Do you want me to come with you Al?" He asked, and the American shook his head. "Nah, I'm just gonna go an pick up some burgers. Go watch your show Mattie." Alfred said, and opened his umbrella before stepping out into the pouring rain. He waved to Matt as he left; he walked slowly, listening to the rain fall fast and steady. When it rained like this he hated to get out of bed. Some birthday this was turning out to be. No one was on the street; all were inside, safe from the rain. A bitter smile made its way up on his face. What was Arthur doing now? Was he thinking of him? Did he remember that today was his birthday? This cold, rainy miserable day? **

'_All I wanted was freedom._'

**He took a step forward; it was a difficult step to take. Maybe he should go a diet again? **

'_I just wanted the freedom to walk besides you Arthur._'

**The umbrella was suddenly too heavy to hold above his head, maybe he was getting sick? Yeah, that was it. He didn't need a diet, he just needed to go home and get some sleep and rest. Maybe Mattie would make him some soup. He kept walking, one step in front of the other. **

'_I wanted to protect you Iggy, and show you I wasn't a child who needed to be protected anymore._'

**He was beginning to slow down, his feet felt like weights were attached to them, and he was getting this uncomfortable, heavy feeling in his chest. The rain kept falling, and the umbrella was just too heavy. Slowly his arm dropped, and he came to a step as the first drops of rain hit him.**

'_But you wouldn't give me that chance, I had to take it by force and I hurt you when all I wanted to do was protect you._'

**The umbrella dropped from his hand as he stared up into the gray sky's that was raining down; in no time he was drenched. God, he hated this kind of rain. It just kept coming, with no end in sight.**

'_I don't know what to do… You were there for me for so long Iggy, and even afterwards your still here. Even though I've been such a ass to you since! You must really love me, but I can't accept it._'

**He couldn't tell if he was crying, if he was the rain was mixing with his tears. There was so much it. So much rain, so much pain, and too many memories.**

'_Why_ _am I feeling like this even after all of these years? When will I forget this pain?_'

**He asked him himself, but he already knew the answer to his questions. He would never forget, not the pain, and not the memories. Not while it rained. When it stopped, he would have some relief from all of it, but it would be back soon. It would be back in his dreams, in the rain, and on his birthday. It was always there, he could always feel it, it was a dull ache. He could feel it when he saw Arthur smile painfully at him, trying to act as if everything was okay. He lowered his head; this was his birthday, the anniversary of when he broke free from Arthur's reign, so why didn't he feel proud?**

'_Because I know how much I hurt him then, and how much I continue to hurt him now._'

**Yeah, he should feel proud of what he accomplished, but when he did so, he hurt the person that he cared the most about in his world. What was there to be proud about in doing that?**

**He didn't know how long he stayed out there in the rain, he had plopped down on the sidewalk and leaned against a wall and just stared into space as the rain pounded down on him. It was like a balm on his skin, but at the same time like it was like needles on his skin as memories played over and over again in his mind where no one but him could see them. Suddenly the rain wasn't falling on him anymore, startled he looked up and was shocked to see Arthur's red face as he panted for breath, holding a umbrella over him. "You stupid git! Is this where you've been this whole time? Matthew's worried sick about you!" Arthur scolded him, as Alfred stared up at him with blue eyes. "You've been gone since eleven, it's three now Alfred! I just arrived and he rushes out to me saying he you left and he can't find you anywhere, get up now you twit. Is this any way to be celebrating your birthday? You'll catch a cold at this rate!" Arthur straightened up and grabbed Alfred by his arm, helping him stand up. "Come on, let's get you home and showered. What possessed you to stay out here for so long anyways lad?" Arthur asked as he made sure to keep the other under the umbrella. "It wouldn't stop…." Alfred muttered as they started on their way back. "What? Do you mean the rain? Isn't that an even better reason to hurry on him lad?" Arthur asked sounding slightly confused. "No… The memories, they wouldn't stop playing…" He murmured quietly. Arthur gave him a concerned look, but didn't say another word until they reached home. Matthew rushed out of the house, and helped him usher Alfred into the house where there were towels waiting for them before rushing Alfred into a hot shower. Soon he stood under the hot drops of the shower, much different than the cold rain.**

'_How can I accept your love after I hurt you so badly?_'

P.S.: I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia! I wish… Anyways, there will be more soon! Please REVIEW if you fave the story, it annoys me when people fave the story but don't review. So please do!


	2. Arthur

**Arthur frowned as he watched Alfred joke and laugh with his twin brother, something was off about the lad. "Arthur-san, are you okay?" Green eyes flickered over to Kiku who was staring at him, slight concern in his eyes. "Ah, Kiku, no. Everything is fine." It wasn't a complete lie, everything was fine. Something just nagged him in the back of his mind. Something he should be remembering, but wasn't. He rubbed his forehead angrily. What was he forgetting? "Arthur-san, would you like to talk about it?" Japan asked the other nation. Arthur thought about it. He did have a lot on his mind, mostly concerning Alfred. Maybe it would do him good to talk to someone about him. He looked over at Alfred as he let out a great big laugh. He nodded and set his glass down. "Yes actually. But let's not do it here." He said, last thing he would need is for Alfred, or Francis to hear what was going on in his mind. They both went quietly to the door, and put their shoes on before stepping outside on to the porch. Today the sun was shining brightly, unlike the other day. The two leaned against the railing and stared out at the land.**

**xXx**

"Arthur, you're back!" A young Alfred ran up to him, laughing gleefully, and Arthur couldn't help but smile as he swept the boy up in a hug.

**xXx**

"**He was always smiling when he was a young lad." He said. "Just seeing his smile use to make any aches or pain I was feeling fade away."**

**xXx**

"Look Arthur! Look! Glowing bugs!" Alfred cheered, and Arthur laughed as he watched Alfred chase the bugs, and he too was soon chasing the bugs to help the younger lad catch them.

**xXx**

"**He was always so curious, so full of life that I couldn't help but want to stay with him forever." He smiled at the memories.**

**xXx**

"A-Arthur, I'm scared! Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" A teary eyed Alfred was looking up at him pleading, and jumped when thunder boomed loudly outside. Arthur smiled sleepily, and held the covers up. "Of course lad, but just this once." He agreed, and Alfred's face lit up before he crawled on to the bed and cuddled against Arthur. And Arthur smiled and held Alfred close to him, protecting him from the loud thunder that scared the little boy.

**xXx**

"**When I held him close to me, I felt as if nothing could hurt him, I wanted to protect him forever, to protect that smile that shown even brighter then the sun. Protecting his smile meant everything to me."**

**xXx**

"Stop it Arthur, I don't need your help anymore!" The younger nation was now a young man, and he pushed away Arthur's hand. "I'm not a little kid anymore!" Those words hurt worse than anything else he had to experience before. Worse than any bullet, or sword wound he had taken.

**xXx**

"**He grew up so fast. They're right when they say that children grow up fast. One day he was a small child reaching out for my hand, the next day he was a young man pushing my hand away." Arthur smiled slowly, it was a sad, lonely smile. "And then came the day when my little Alfred declared war on me. When he declared that he wanted independence from **_**me**_**." Arthur turned his face to Japan, who was surprised to see tears swimming in the other mans eyes, but they didn't fall.**

**xXx **

"I want independence Arthur, give it to me, or I'll take it by force. My people want better." Alfred demanded, and Arthur shook his head. "Or what Alfred? You won't win. Your people can't even fight."

**xXx**

"**I mocked him, I didn't believe that he would actually declare war on me! Me, the one who raised him, who loved him, who was protecting him from everything!" Japan listened quietly to everything the English man said.**

**xXx**

"America is declaring war!" Arthur froze when he heard those words. His bosses all spoke, they wanted to just give the people its independence. 'No…' He thought. He stood up, slamming his hands on the table and getting the attention from everyone. "No! We won't let him go! Gather the troops!" He snarled, how Alfred dare even think of declaring war! His face he was later told was like a pirates.

**xXx**

"**We fought each other, viciously. And in the end, I was forced to open my eyes and see that Alfred indeed wasn't a little boy who still needed to hold my hand." Arthur chuckled. "It hurt, but in the end I had to let the lad go. And slowly my family began to fall apart." Arthur looked up at the sun, squinting. "And I decided that even be allowed to watch Alfred would be all I needed. I love him after all. I have since the moment I first laid eyes on the lad. I've watched him all these many years. He's gotten hurt, and others have tried to push him down." Arthur smiled proudly. "But he keeps getting back up. He was like that even as a young child." Slowly the smile began to fade, and he looked at Kiku. "But something's got me worried about him. Something's been off about him since yesterday. I'm worried about him." Kiku nodded, he had also noticed something about the other nation's personality. It was still bright, loud and overly cheerful, but it was toned down a little. "Anyways, thank you for listening to me ramble, but I suppose we should get back in there before that stupid git does something stupid." Arthur huffed, and Japan followed him back inside where they were both assaulted by America's loud yelling.**

**Arthur watched Alfred laugh as he opened his present's, he was sipping a nice cup of tea that he had brought from England since Alfred would only store coffee in his house just to annoy him. The lad had gotten many presents; all had something do to with his flag it seemed. Arthur watched as those blues eyes flickered to him, and he froze when he saw the pain that flashed through Alfred's eyes. It all happened in an instant before Alfred was tearing into the next present. **

'_Alfred….. Why is there so much pain in your eyes when you look at me_?'

P.S.: Hey everyone! Here's the next chapter! Please review! I LOVE reviews! And sorry about the first chapter, I realized there were a lot of mistakes in it with spelling and grammar, I was rushing to write that and fix it so I missed some mistakes. Hopefully this chapter is better.

And thank you XxxBlackStar for reviewing. Yes this is more than one chapter; I plan on making it at the most, four or five. I should finish this tomorrow, or on xmas day. Hope you continue you to read it!

And I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia.


	3. Rainbow Eagles

Alfred ripped open the envelope he had gotten from Arthur in the mail, the man had called him and told him that he was sending his present in the mail after he had left and returned to England, he could help but wonder what it was. First he noticed it was a plan ticket to England first class, and then the next part he saw of it was a huge surprise. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "No way! A ticket to the Rainbow Eagles?" He cried and immediately ran for his room he had to pack for England he was going to the best concert in the world!

"Iggy! Hurry up, we're gonna be late!" Alfred yelled as he tied up his tennis shoes as he waited for Arthur, he was dressed in old blue jeans, and a Rainbow Eagles t-shirt that one of his kids -New York actually- had given him for his birthday. "My name is Arthur you git, and call down. We won't be late." Arthur said as he entered the mud room. Alfred turned to look back at Arthur to retaliate, but instead his eyes bulged and his jaw went slack. Arthur was dressed in black skinny jeans, and he had snake bites, his ears were both pierced with multiple earrings, and he had pierced his eyebrow too, he was wearing a ripped up Rainbow Eagles tank, and had dyed his hair rainbow colored and spiked it some, and it was all complete with his spiked black choker and combat boots. "Woah," Alfred finally muttered. "You look…." He was speechless. "Good? Great? Awesome?" Arthur asked as he fixed a couple bracelets on his wrist. _'Hot, sexy, irresistible?'_ Alfred thought to himself as he swallowed the lump in his throat and forced a grin. "You look pretty weird Iggy, I thought you were a old man, not a punk?" Arthur scowled at him and crossed over to the door. "Let's just go you ungrateful git!" Arthur opened his front door, and Alfred had to admit that the skinny jeans really defined Arthur's ass.

Music pounded, people screamed and sang along with the songs, and people grinding against each other as they danced. In the air you could taste the excitement, smell the sweat as everyone danced. Alfred looked down at Arthur the other was swaying his hips, and dancing to the music just like he was. And god did the man look like a sex god as he sang and grinded like everyone else. How he wanted to kiss those lips that were singing, and he wanted to dance against him and- warning bells started going off in his head.

'_Alfred, you shouldn't be thinking these thoughts!'_ He didn't deserve to be thinking anything like that! Arthur would be so much happier without him, all he ever did was hurt him and there was just no way could he make Arthur happy! Arthur looked back at him, his green eyes giving him a sultry look, and suddenly he couldn't help himself as he reached out and pulled Arthur close to him, and he was suddenly kissing him. Alfred found out very quickly as his tongue found its way into Arthur's mouth that he had also pierced his tongue.

They somehow made it back to England's place, and through the front door and to his room as clothes were torn off, marks were placed on each other and kisses placed on each others lips and soon Alfred found himself in bliss as he entered Arthur. The moans he was pulling from the others lips were the best music he had ever heard and the sight of the other withering and shivering under him was the best sight he had ever seen, and for that night he threw caution to the wind and did everything he dreamed of doing and possibly more with Arthur. When they finally stopped, and held each other and began to fall asleep, England in America's arm did it finally hit Alfred on what he did. But his blue eyes began to close before he could help himself. "I love you Iggy…" He wasn't sure if he said it out loud or not as he drifted off to sleep knowing he'd have to face the consequences on what he done today later.

P.S: Hiiiiii everyone! Thanks for waiting, sorry this took so long! I'm on my friends laptop cause I'm technically suppose to be grounded and all. Thank god for friends who write like me! Anyways, here's chapter three. I have to say that I really really don't like it, but it was the best out of the other two versions that I wrote I think. I will prolly be rewriting this chapter if I'm not too lazy and put more detail into it, so please deal with it for now okay? I promise I will fix up some day! And I would love to thank the following reviewers for reviewing!

midn13

Rashiq

glassof-wine

XxxBlackStar

Ooooorange on my shelf 0.o

You guys are the best! I love your reviews, I don't own Hetalia at all sadly. But I guess I own the plot of this fic? I certainly hope so…. And to Beca when you read this if you ever do, I LOVE YOU! Can't wait til you get back girlie! I would also love to thank Beca and Lysette for helping come up with the name Rainbow Eagles. Sadly it is not a real band…. But it would be awesome if it was! Also sorry for it being so short. I feel like crying in a corner at how crappy it is…. But I just wanted to get something up, it was driving me insane!


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